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“I will ... rethink every decision to avoid falling into the trap of love that cause my mother bruises, broken bones... ”
Ashley Carrisalez
Adams City High School
“Five-year-olds often have memories of zoo trips or Barbies, but I remember hearing the thuds behind closed doors and seeing my dad choking my mom by wrapping a telephone cord around her neck.”

In 1991, Ashley Carrisalez sat in the back seat of a car with her two siblings and watched her mother drive into the night – out of Snyder, Texas, north to Colorado. After years of continuous beatings and numerous restraining orders, Nora Contreras intended to make a clean break with her husband, and using money her family had sent her, escaped to Commerce City with her three children to start a new life.

And yet, new life in the wake of years of domestic violence needs more than distance to germinate. Ashley openly admits that she bears the scars of those early years. She is slow to trust; instead carefully observing people and situations before committing to any action. But she’s determined not to fall into repeating the violence and instability she witnessed at such a young age.

“I have decided to go in the opposite direction that my (older) sister chose,” Ashley wrote in her essay to PAVE. And that direction includes working two jobs to ensure she will never have to rely on a boyfriend or a husband for money. In addition, she will graduate from high school this month, the first person in her family to do so. And perhaps most importantly, she is vigilant about avoiding destructive relationships.

“I will cautiously and slowly rethink every decision to avoid falling in to the trap of love that caused my mother bruises, broken bones and heartbreak,” she writes. Instead, she plans to focus her energy on achieving a teacher’s certificate so that she may someday help students to “learn peace and hope while I teach ABC’s and 123’s.”
“I will serve my family, my community ... while never becoming a carbon copy of the angry, frustrated, brutal man my father was.”
Juan Monclava
West High School
“As the police car was transporting him away…he yelled out the open window…he said he was going to kill [my mother] and me when he got out of jail.”

When Juan’s little brother started getting into fights in elementary school, someone had the foresight to recommend the family start getting counseling at PAVE. There, with the help of a skilled counselor, the story of the Monclava family unfolded.

Juan, then 14 years old, his younger brother and sister and his mother told an all too familiar tale: of constant assault and fear. They had escaped Juan’s father’s tyranny by moving to Denver, but the effects of the abuse were still rippling through the family, as evidenced by Juan’s little brother’s behavior at school.

“At first it seemed hard to believe that art projects like drawing pictures of our family and games could help us all put the past violence into a coffin and seal the lid. But I guarantee you that those services did, in fact, help…and brought a lot of peace to us all.”

Now Juan is a graduating senior at West High School, and he is more excited about showing his younger brother his example of completing high school than throwing any caps in the air. Juan is determined to help his younger brother free himself from their past of violence. He is also looking forward to pursuing a career in criminal justice.

“I will serve my family, my community and the legal system while never becoming a carbon copy of the angry, frustrated, brutal man my father was.”
“If I can make it ... perhaps women who have been victims of sexual abuse will be on the road to being healthy and happy in the future. ”
Ariana Wright
PSI Charter School
“It was only after I told someone about what was happening with my uncle that I found out there were others out there with similar stories.”

When her uncle was finally convicted of sexually abusing Ariana and her sister for more than 6 years, he apologized only for “confusing” the girls. That statement triggered a profound emotional change in Ariana. “I knew that what he had done was wrong and I was certainly NOT confused,” she writes. From that moment on, she struggled to move from a role as a victim to an empowered woman working to help others.

The change didn’t come overnight. It took work. Ariana survived a suicide attempt, received counseling and continued to work on her goal. She flew to Honduras in the wake of Hurricane Mitch and worked with the relief effort. She traveled to Northern Ireland as a facilitator for Play for Peace, and later spent a semester in Belfast. She became involved as a mentor in Steps Ahead, an organization that helps youth find personal empowerment through facing issues head on. She won the “9 News Kids Who Care” award from a local television station. She was awarded the Colorado State Senate Award in 2001 and 2002. She currently serves on the governing board of Colorado Youth at Risk.

As her senior project, Ariana chose to research the rights of sex offenders and their victims. Last month she put on a public performance featuring testimonials from victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse to create a ‘reading’ like the “Vagina Monologues.”

“If I can make it so there are as few of these stories as possible in the future, perhaps women who have been victims of sexual abuse will be on the road to being healthy and happy in the future.”
Janus Scholarship

Part of healing from the past is moving on into the future. For the past 8 years, through the generous support of the JANUS Foundation, Project PAVE has awarded scholarships to survivors of relationship violence who have demonstrated the ability to succeed despite their traumatic histories and thus be role models to their peers.

If you know a young person who has survived relationship violence and somehow managed to flourish despite their history, please tell them about our scholarship program.
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Project PAVE is a private non profit, 501(c)3 organization. All contributions are tax deductible up to the amount allowed by law.